Fool's Mate
by Nanaki BH
Summary: Suzaku/Lelouch - It was the closest Lelouch had ever been to checkmate.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Fool's Mate

**Author:** Nanaki BH

**Pairing: **Suzaku/Lelouch

**Summary:** It was the closest Lelouch had ever been to checkmate; what possibly became of the emperor. (vignette)

**Warnings:** PG-13, mild blood and such, and spoilers for the end of the series.

**Disclaimer:** _Code Geass _and all related characters and materials are property of Sunrise and CLAMP.

His head was swimming, pounding. His world felt like it was swaying constantly, forward and back. He could hear something. Gunfire? A nail being pounded? No, it was too light, too close and yet far away to be either of those. His head only hurt more trying to make sense of his surroundings and situation. There was a pain in him that seemed as if to consume him, starting at his core and working outward to claim his whole body. Was this death? There was no other word to describe the way he felt.

There was crying in his ears, in his head. Nunally. Her voice.

Her voice reminded him of who he was.

He convulsed, eyes shutting tighter if possible. There was wetness against his cheek, dripping from somewhere close. He recognized the sound finally as rain, deafeningly loud to his sensitive head. Unconsciously, he brought himself closer to the source of heat that was pressed against him. Warm. Soft. Strong and secure. It felt like someone's arms, holding him tightly. There was warmth on his cheek and he barely registered the sound of someone's breathing, harsh and frantic.

Were they running?

He felt like crying and he didn't know why.

His eyes refused to open.

_"Lelouch?" _. . . _"Lelouch? Come on... Lelouch!"_

It felt like a short eternity before his eyes opened again. From what he could see, there were cracks in the ceiling, water dripping down next to where he lie. It looked familiar, like the Kururugi shrine. How he had gotten there, he wasn't certain, but it seemed like a safe place to be nonetheless. There was only one major difference between this and the shrine he held in his memory.

There wasn't sun shining through the cracks.

He remembered the last time he had been there, though vaguely at the moment. It was a memory that tasted bitter to him still.

He blinked until he could glancing down blearily at who had been calling his name. In front of him, straddling his legs, sat Zero – Suzaku – a needle in hand. His mind still felt too fogged to make any sense of what was going on; why Suzaku was over him like that, what he was doing with that needle, why he hurt so much.

"I don't want you to freak out suddenly, okay? You have to stay still while I stitch this up."

His eyes flew open and instantly, stupidly, he attempted to sit up. It was an impulse, of course, but it caused the wound on his stomach to stretch and he fell back on the bed, clutching his middle, screaming.

Suzaku grabbed his wrists, forcing him to lie still on the old futon, pinning his legs with his knees.

"I said to stay still, didn't I? You're making it worse." His voice was lacking its usual calm, sounding more distressed and afraid than Lelouch had ever heard him. His eyes watered with the effort, but Lelouch steeled himself, trying to stay still even as his muscles strained.

A moment later, Suzaku released him, satisfied that Lelouch wouldn't try to move again. He reached for the needle again but stopped short, glancing back at Lelouch. His eyes were closed again, deep circles under them, his chest rising and falling with labored breaths. He was struggling. He had to work fast, but who knew how much Lelouch could sustain?

Suzaku rummaged through the old medical kit one more time, pushing around yellowed bandages and crusted tubes of antiseptics. His fingers met with what he hadn't expected to find, even after he had looked through the first time. C.C. Would probably return shortly with much better medicine. He had all the essentials _except_ for morphine or any means of anesthesia. The small bottle he managed to find was probably hidden on purpose, as it wasn't something one would expect to find in the jinja's medical kit, but it was probably necessary at one point for _some reason_. Whatever the case, Suzaku held the bottle tightly in his hand and praised his luck.

Tearing a strip from the bottom of his cape, Suzaku grasped Lelouch's arm and wrapped it tightly around his bicep, the inside of his elbow facing up. Lelouch whimpered in his feverish haze, head lolling to the side. Praying that the syringe he found was sterile, he drew some of the morphine and pressed it to a vein, injecting it slowly.

"I don't know how long that will take to work," he muttered, unsure of whether Lelouch could even understand him, "but it will have to do for now. C.C. will be coming. Just... Hold on."

Lelouch cracked open an eye weakly, shutting it the next second. Suzaku supposed that would be his only form of a response for now.

He returned his attention to the wound at Lelouch's middle. The towels he found around the shrine were already drenched with blood, doing nothing to stop the bleeding. The short bed was already getting soaked. Lelouch couldn't afford another minute and he was hesitating.

It wasn't like he had never tended a wound before. He'd passed a needle through his own skin, knew how to keep a wound closed. But this was Lelouch. He didn't have the right scissors _nor_ the right suture for it. He didn't want to hurt him.

But if he was going to stop the bleeding, then he had to do it.

"I'm no doctor, Lelouch. Forgive me."

The needle pressed against his skin and slid through, under and out the other side. The skin slid at the light pressure he applied and he felt his nausea grow. The wound was mirrored on his back. He'd have to do this _twice_ to be over with it. His hands were shaking, trembling.

"I'm sorry," he muttered, passing the needle through again, tugging on the thread when it came out the other side. Lelouch hissed and fidgeted on the bed, burying his face in the pillow. Another stitch. "I'm sorry."

Lelouch opened his eyes again with some effort, his hand rising slowly to touch Suzaku's thigh. It was as far as he could get his hand to move before his strength faded. His eyes shut against his will and he held back a choked sob. The morphine wasn't doing much of anything, it seemed; probably because it was old. Did morphine get old? No one had been in the shrine for years. Who knew when the last time was it was used.

His hand slipped, the thread slipping out of the needle. "Sorry," he mumbled hurriedly, trying to rethread the needle with shaking fingers.

"S-Suza... ku..." Lelouch's fingers felt up his pantleg, grasping weakly. "D... Don't."

_Don't be sorry._

It was his last order, after all. He'd obeyed it and this was the least he could do for him in the end. It was what he _had _to do if he wanted Lelouch to live. That crowd, cheering as he fell... He didn't deserve that. This pain, the ridicule, the sacrifice...

"It's okay," Suzaku whispered, stroking his hand affectionately over Lelouch's. "I'm here. I'll take care of you." It was hard to say, his own confidence quickly waning, but they were words Lelouch needed to hear. It was such a simple thing, but Lelouch seemed to visibly relax, his breathing becoming a little easier.

To be like this, he must have lost a lot of blood already. There was no way they could take him to a hospital, though. He had to trust that C.C. would have some way of helping significantly. Stitches alone might not be enough. Trying to take his mind off of it as much as he could, Suzaku returned his attention to the needle, finally managing to keep his hands stable enough to slide the thread through the tiny loop. Once Lelouch's breathing had calmed down again, the sound of the rain had taken over. It was loud, yet soothing.

Before he knew it, he had already reached the other side of the wound, the thread strung through tight. He tied it off and cut it free, pressing lightly around the broad cut to test how it would fair. It wasn't suture at all, but it was still a strong stitch he'd made nonetheless, the wound bleeding very little with the pressure.

"I need your other side," he said, rubbing Lelouch's hip. The emperor's white pants were far from pristine now, spotted in places with red. All of the symbolic irony made Suzaku's head ache.

His consciousness fading rapidly, Lelouch could only moan his assent, becoming boneless to allow Suzaku to turn him over.

Had he missed his mark by a mere fraction of an inch, Suzaku could have killed him. Vital organs would have been slashed, his spine struck, _something_. Had the wind just even been a little different, something awful could have happened. But Lelouch was still here, fighting to stay among the living, even as he seemed to be losing the fight.

Suzaku leaned down, placing his lips against Lelouch's pale shoulder blade, caressing his hands over his shoulders. Even if their plan meant that they would have to live separate lives, that was alright; Lelouch would live. Lelouch was no longer the emperor, no longer a son of Britannia, did not exist. And he was no longer Suzaku. Things seemed fair enough. It was their debt.

His fingers worked faster this time, the needle diving over and under flesh from one side to the other. Lelouch groaned when he gave the final tug, tying off the end.

Even if he were to be separated from him, Lelouch would still undoubtedly have the scar the wound would leave. It would run deep, a literal divide in his being, separating him from who he used to be. Suzaku hoped he could forgive him for it.

"Suza..." The rest of his name came out in a breathless sigh. Suzaku leaned in to listen, placing his hand on his shoulder. "Lap," he muttered. It couldn't even be considered a full thought, but Suzaku still managed to get the idea.

"I probably shouldn't move you," he replied worriedly. "I was afraid to just turn you over."

Lelouch cracked open an eye, his frown very visible. Even when he was in pain and barely conscious, his emperor still managed to command him. If that was how things were going to be, Suzaku couldn't find his place to refuse. Very carefully, he arranged himself behind Lelouch, leaning against the wall, and lifted Lelouch into his lap so he lay against his chest. Had he not been so careful of Lelouch's wounds, he would have wrapped his arms around his waist.

"Lelouch," he said softly, resting his cheek gently against his head, "I... You probably have no idea what I'm even saying, do you?" Lelouch's hands, which had laid uselessly over his thighs, moved to tug lightly on his pantleg like a kind of silent sign. "Fine, so you can. And I don't know _why_. Really, you should be asleep. Or passed out or something!"

Lelouch mumbled something that Suzaku interpreted as, "don't tell me what to do", although it was debatable. It wasn't something someone in his position had any place to say, to start with, especially when he was sounding more exhausted than ever.

"You can really understand me?" He waited a moment to see if he had any response and received none. "You probably won't remember any of this when you wake up, huh?" Another moment of silence.

He leaned down, brushing aside Lelouch's damp bangs, placed a kiss to his cheek, and whispered softly, "I love you. Hang on for me."

Even if he couldn't put his arms around him, he found his hands and linked their fingers together. That would just have to do.

Heaven only knew what C.C. would see when she got there. That was the farthest thing from Suzaku's mind as he drifted off, though. Lelouch finally let himself sleep with a smile on his face.

* * *

Gosh, Lelouch, you're so sly. I've been wanting to write something guro-ish and this obviously didn't turn into that. I prefer the second half to the first half, but I won't drive myself crazy with it. Hope you guys liked it. XD


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2/ end

* * *

The rain was still falling when she arrived. Her hair was drenched, her clothing soaked; her very bones felt near freezing. She couldn't help but notice the irony. He'd chosen such a sunny day to die, yet it seemed to only rain over the shrine – hard. It was as if he'd accepted their sadness and taken it with him. She didn't understand how one person could put such a burden on himself. People were selfish, weren't they? Lelouch defied everything C.C. thought a human to be. He was filled with the same desires and fears as anyone else, yet... He was more, perhaps less, but certainly beyond what she conceived as human.

She'd never seen a hero before, but Lelouch seemed to be its picture.

_Either way, they're absolutely crazy_, she thought, passing the heavy bag to her other hand. Only someone with some serious mental problems would have thought up such a plan. Stab him and make it look like he died? She wasn't so sure it was necessary to take things _that_ far. They could have probably faked it well enough without having to critically injure him.

But it was Suzaku. And it was Lelouch. He wouldn't have done it if Lelouch hadn't asked him to specifically and Suzaku wouldn't have done it if he knew it would kill Lelouch – probably. Who knew the level of his devotion? He would have probably killed him for real if he so asked.

_What a pair_.

She padded through the shrine, old floorboards creaking underfoot. Rain water dripped through the cracks in the ceiling, making little puddles on the floor and dripping onto her hair. She flinched when a cold drop rolled down her forehead and she quickly swiped it away with the back of her hand. The shrine certainly hadn't been maintained. Every hallway felt dark and alone, devoid of life.

For a moment, her chest tightened, a cold fear sinking in that Lelouch really might not be okay when she walked into the room. She stopped, gripping the handle of the bag tightly in her hands, and took a deep breath. Lelouch had to be okay. With all his reckless heroics and dumb luck, he had to be okay.

C.C. held her head up, the bag held tight, and thrust herself finally into the room. For a second, she thought she found the wrong room until she looked down and found what she'd been looking for.

Lelouch lay cradled in Suzaku's arms, head lolled to the side, blood covering his middle and on Suzaku's hands which held loosely onto his.

"Lelouch!" She rushed to their sides, hoping, praying that he was really all right. There was so much blood, too much, and it looked like Suzaku had stupidly fallen asleep while he should have been looking after him. She sunk to her knees immediately, prying one of Lelouch's hands away. He felt warm.

She breathed a shaky sigh of relief, her hand tightening around his. "Idiot," she murmured.

"Heard that," a weak voice mumbled back, sounding half-dead.

"Good. Cuz you are." She wanted to say more, like, _"Did you have any idea how worried you made me?"_ She cried for him, prayed for him, begged the God she hadn't spoken to in years to spare his life. If he was going to live, the least he could do was have the decency to look a little more sorry.

Suzaku seemed to be waking up slowly as well, long eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks. His emerald eyes narrowed, bloodshot, the limited light seeming to still hurt his eyes. He looked confused, like he forgot where he was, didn't expect it to still be evening when he woke up, maybe didn't even realize he had fallen asleep. He looked down when he felt Lelouch stir against him and he instinctively wrapped his arms around him, holding him closer.

"Aghhh, f- watch it, Suzaku!" Lelouch's annoyed tone took him aback and made him immediately release him. He looked down at him, eyes widening when he saw his bloodied stomach, remembering what had happened not too long before. Strangely, he felt odd. It was a little bit darker outside but what had happened felt like such a long time ago. Maybe he'd been dreaming about something, but this wasn't what he'd expected to find upon waking up.

"S-sorry," he said back quietly, placing his hands tentatively on top of Lelouch's shoulders.

C.C. observed them with a quirked eyebrow but shrugged off any of the strange vibes she got from the pair. "I brought the things," she said, reaching over to unzip the bag. "You couldn't even find any bandages for that? What kind of dumb are you?" Her words stung even more with the fact that her eyes never left the bag. She pulled out a roll of white bandages and, grabbing one of Suzaku's hands, placed it in his palm.

He looked at it with some confusion, as if she'd just handed him an orange instead or something equally strange. "You want me to...?"

Her deadpan expression gave him more than just a "yes". After apologizing nearly every time he made Lelouch move in some way and after uncomfortably getting elbowed in the gut a few times, Suzaku succeeded in wrapping it around him.

Lelouch looked down at himself with a mixture of displeasure and disgust, running his fingers lightly over the tender skin around the bandaged area. "I'm still... crusty, though." Indeed, as he said, the blood had dried and hardened on his skin already, cracking a little where his middle would bend.

C.C. gave a small 'hmph', looking somewhat amused at his bewilderment. "Get over it, little prince. There's no running water here so you'll just have to wait until you get to the village to get it off, okay?"

His head still reminding him about the amount of blood he lost, he glanced at her with his eyes half-closed. "Village? What do you mean by that?"

She spared a look at Suzaku who sighed in return, averting his eyes.

"There's a small village away from here. It's not _that_ far, but it's... not here, at least."

"'Not that far' meaning a few towns away or 'not that far' meaning a _country_ away?"

She stayed quiet, her hands flexing worthlessly on her thighs. Lelouch had barely been awake five minutes, let alone had enough time to gather his garbled thoughts and... _this?_ What were they trying to do, kill him for real? She didn't say anything, but there was no doubt that she answered. If he was going to live, then he had to leave. Suzaku had seemed to imply that before, while he said things to him while he was... dying.

Being that far away meant...

He tried to turn in Suzaku's embrace, wincing slightly, blood coloring the bandages again. Reflexively, Suzaku grasped his arms and held him still, pulling him up close to wrap his arms around his small shoulders. C.C. was there but she didn't say anything, just watched quietly as he held onto him and whimpered into his back.

"You're kidding..." Lelouch muttered, his eyes wide.

Regaining his composure, Suzaku leaned back. He breathed a sigh that sounded as hollow as the one Lelouch heard before. "I'm Zero and you're dead. However..." His voice grew a little stronger and he looked up at C.C. Lelouch followed the turn of his head to look at her as well, hardly feeling ready for anymore unfortunate news.

"That doesn't mean you have to stop being Lelouch. You aren't really a prince anymore, seeing as how 'you' are dead, but _you_ don't have to stop living."

A lot of sense that made to him right now.

After all of this, he just felt like... doing something embarrassing like curling up in a ball and screaming and crying in pain. If he really was still Lelouch, though, he supposed that wasn't an option. He sunk into Suzaku's embrace and looked up at him, feeling his head ache in that way it did when he held back tears. So many emotions were conflicting within him and begged to be let out, but he held on strongly, willing his feelings down, trying to remain calm. No matter how bad this news was, it was his reality and he knew that he had to deal with it. These were his decisions he made and this was the consequence.

At least he wasn't dead, he tried to rationalize. That _was_ on the bright side. Everything he had set out to accomplish had been completed and everyone could live safely. His own life was more like a consolation prize. Yet somehow, considering his own life just that, a "consolation prize", like it was the second best thing made him feel awful. The mighty had truly fallen.

"Lelouch?" Suzaku spoke up quietly.

He shook his head, a wry smile nudging the corners of his lips. "I'm fine. That's how things are supposed to be now. My pride's just a little hurt, I suppose."

"Looks like more than that to me," C.C. said with cool seriousness. There was just a twinge of playfulness to her words, though, causing Lelouch to look away with reddened cheeks.

"I-It's nothing like... that."

Cluelessly, Suzaku looked between the two. As if a lightbulb had gone off in his head, his mouth fell open with an "oh!" and promptly laughed shamelessly. Lelouch felt his own embarrassment mounting and he smacked Suzaku's arm as best as he could from his position in his lap. "You didn't know?" he asked her, grinning like a fool.

"I had my suspicions. Lelouch sure has a lot of _pride _alright if he's talking about that." She considered her words and then snerked. "My, that came out wrong."

"I-I'm still dying here, you know!"

"Aw, it's okay! I support you two! I'll make sure you have lots of opportunities to meet each other, alright?"

Lelouch was left with no choice but to stew furiously in his embarrassment while C.C. and Suzaku went on about their apparently "torrid love", pretending as if he wasn't even there. At least they seemed to think he was recovering well enough to ignore him like that. He was feeling slightly better, though. He didn't really feel like he was right on the edge anymore – just really, really tired. Hearing the two of them talk so cheerfully like that between each other made him feel a little more at ease, too. It had been a while since he heard anybody sounding so genuinely _happy_.

They'd just got done discussing something that made him feel terrible, and suddenly the same conversation had turned into something not so bad. Things would be different; maybe more different than he would have preferred, but it seemed as if all the decisions were finally out of his hands. He wouldn't be the one making the choices anymore. In a way, that didn't sound too bad. If it meant there'd be no more blame on him, no more guilt, then that was alright. Being away from Suzaku, though – not to mention Nunnally – that was a thought he just tried not to think about anymore.

These were his consequences and if they spared Nunnally and everyone else just a little bit of peace and happiness, then he would bear them with dignity.

"Suzaku," he said, interrupting his friends' exhaustingly energetic chatter, "take care of her."

The mood dropped, as if the rain itself reminded them it was still falling. Suzaku bit down on his lip, but nodded his silent assent. "Yeah."

Abandoning shame, Suzaku tipped Lelouch's chin back and pressed their lips together in an awkward kiss. 'Parting is such sweet sorrow', as it goes, and this was really no exception. Lelouch covered the palm on his cheek with his own and held on firmly, a part of him still not willing to let him go.

"I'll be... going with you," C.C. said, trying not to interrupt such a moment, but still desperate to make it less awkward for herself.

Lelouch smiled at her as warmly as he could with eyelids that refused to properly remain open any longer. "Thank you." Every limb feeling weak, he relaxed again into Suzaku's arms one last time and smiled up at him. "Both of you."

As the young ex-prince slowly faded back into a well-deserved sleep, Suzaku leaned down to his ear to whisper softly.

"Zero will be watching you, too."

* * *

The official end, I guess. I held on to this part for a really long time and just never felt like updating it until now. Hope it's alright.


End file.
